A long time ago, in a town far, far away, I ventured out to The Shawsheen Luncheonette, located in Andover, MA. Joining me on this tasking conquest for the most nutritious breakfast in the galaxy were my associates Janavi Patel and Radha (also spelled RadHa) Patel. I am still unaware whether or not they are in fact, related.
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| (From Right to Left) Janavi, Radha, and myself anxiously awaiting our chance to get down on our knees and... ask this breakfast to spend the rest of its life with us. |
Heading into this trip, I knew nothing about the Shawsheen Luncheonette other than the fact that Boston Bruins Legend Ray Bourque once received a DUI in front of it (I received this fun fact from my associate Julie Gormly). Other than that, I didn't even know it existed. Radha and Janavi however, swear by it. This being said I was a little hesitant about going forward with this blog. I had no clue what the Patel girls were getting me into. Pictures of Michael Scott partying at Diwali with Kelly Kapoor's family came to mind. (If you're unfamiliar with The Office, find a new rock to live under that has cable/Netflix). Would I be Michael Scott dancing the night away at a party I was loosely invited to, only to win the hearts of everyone there? I stopped day dreaming, started practicing The Garba, and booked Janavi and RadHa an appointment with Bacon, Eggs, and Passion to find out.
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| Michael Scott enjoying Diwali |
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| Outside/Street view of the front of the Shawsheen Luncheonette. Ray Bourque received a DUI right where I was standing to take this picture, probably. |
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| Ex-Bruin Ray Bourque |
ATMOSPHERE
From the time I sat down at Shawsheen, to the time I walked out after the meal, I had no clue what the theme here was. There were funny little nick-nacks scattered around the diner, along with really cheesy motivational and sassy quotes splattered all over the walls. On top of this, the motivational quotes looked like someone just printed word documents off their computer and framed them. It was almost as if the owner found a teenage girl and her grandmother and told them to decorate it however they liked. It was a cross between Tumblr (the more appropriate and lame part of Tumblr) and grandma's weekly craft club meeting. Absolute mess. Similar to a diner I reviewed in the earlier days of The Breakfast Blog (Nan's Cafe) but not done as well. It seemed lazy here.
The waiting area was also extremely small. One of my first impressions was that this place must be good because it was absolutely packed. So you'd think there would be more waiting room space right? Wrong. I found myself sitting on the curb outside for 10 minutes waiting to be seated, because some guy who apparently has never heard of a little thing called personal hygiene or personal space decided to bring his family out for breakfast (Luckily it was 102 fucking degrees outside.) I'm not faulting Shawsheen for their smelly customer, they can't control that. However, I will fault them for the poor planning on the waiting area. Overall thoughts.. crowded. I like having a little elbow room when I eat. The atmosphere gets an, "ehh" from me.
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| Picture of the small wall dividing the dining area and waiting area, featuring smelly dad sneaking in on the left |
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| Panoramic view of the inside of The Shawsheen Luncheonette |
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| Odd statue of an old woman holding a sign, bragging about her sexy children. |
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| Custom Shawsheen Luncheonette clock, but not a reliable source of telling time, as it does not have number. |
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| Giant sign reminding everyone that you should eat. |
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| "Dream Big" |
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| A father and son duo enjoying their breakfast tradition, going to Shawsheen's every Saturday morning. |
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| Hall of fame of cheesy quotes. (Except for the random "United We Stand" quote) Zoom in for motivation and enlightenment. |
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| Some advice for bad parents |
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| Sassy |
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| An attempt at a picture of the back wall of the diner with part of Janavi's face |
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| Janavi's face now completely blocking a picture I was attempting to take of the back wall of the diner |
SERVICE
Upon entering The Shawsheen Luncheonette, it was very obvious to me this was Andover's hot spot. This place was serving a packed house. There was even a table of popular High Schoolers sitting right in the middle of the diner who were all sporting Andover High School apparel that I was to intimidated to take a picture of. With all of these people the servers were giving 100% for the whole work day. I mean absolutely sprinting around this diner like a bunch chickens with their heads cut off. (When I read "chickens" out loud it didn't sound right to me. I wasn't sure if "chicken" was an irregular or regular plural noun. You know like, "many chickens" or "many chicken" kind of like the word "fish" or "sheep." Turns out its regular. Chickens.) In all of the chaos I failed at my attempts of snapping a picture of our waitress. She was simply moving to fast, and I do not possess a military grade camera that can capture something like that (2 references from The Office in one blog. Don't let me get in my zone... I'm definitely in my zone). From what I remember however, she was very pleasant, knew the menu front to back, and brought out the correct food in a timely fashion. All that while dealing with the pressure from surrounding customers, I'll give the service an A.
By the way, for those of you keeping score at home, I know this is two blogs in a row where I didn't get a picture of the servers. I promise I'll be better moving forward.
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| A decapitated chicken |
ATTEMPTING TO PLAN THIS BREAKFAST
As I said before, accompanying me during this meal were the Patel girls, but what you don't know is there was supposed to be a fourth associate in the line up that fateful day in Andover. That's right, a fourth musketeer. This rogue musketeer goes by the name of Zachary Maia, or as I call him, Zach. Zach, Janavi, RadHa, and I all shared a psychology class way back in the day and this was set to be a reunion of sorts. These screenshots show how this breakfast trip came to be.
To start, we created a group chat with the four of us to coordinate schedules to find a day we could all go for breakfast.
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| RadHa telling me there's no way I get in trouble for not showing up to my job, and Janavi being difficult. |
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| Janavi finally deciding to be a little flexible. |
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| Zach, Janavi, and RadHa bragging about how they don't eat meat. |
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| Zach breaking the bad news to the group the day of. |
Now, from reading these texts, it is very obvious Zach is a rock climber who attends The University of Vermont, while RadHa and Janavi are also both vegetarians due to their religion. Being a very average guy who eats meat, I'm kind of the odd man out in this group. However, while this group chat was happening, another began to take form. The Patel sisters had some things to say... (these conversations were going on simultaneously)
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| RadHa and Janavi not being very polite. |
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| Me, talking the talk, and walking the walk. |
To this day, I am confused by the relationship between Zach, and The Patel's. Always toeing the line between being friends who are, "just joshing around" to straight up bullying. Either way, I'm always happy to play the guy in the middle who airs out the dirty laundry for a thrill when he gets bored. Really no downside to it. Also don't know if you're really detail oriented, but if you noticed the battery life on my phone, you can tell I'm an absolute wild man. Two group chats going while living on the edge with 1% better life left? Not to mention I probably didn't have a charger on hand because I am often ill-prepared for things? I'm just a Daredevil without a cause, looking for a thrill.
FOOD
Now for the moment you've all been waiting for. The main event. The food. Based on my Breakfast Expertise, I'd say The Shawsheen Luncheonette's food is their strong suit. So without further ado, let's start with drinks.
RadHa went with the simple coffee. She's one of those people who, "can't function without coffee." In my opinion I think people who say this need to chill out a bit, but that's just my opinion. Anyways, coffee for breakfast is an average yet acceptable choice. RadHa said it was pretty good.
Janavi went a different route than Radha. She ordered hot chocolate. Mind you, it was around 102 degrees outside that day so this was a pretty fucking insane move. However she says she orders it every time she goes out for breakfast, and I respect a good tradition that is upheld, even in the most inclement weather.
Being someone who hates coffee, my plan for the future is to order hot chocolate before work every morning and pretend its coffee to look adult-like. I haven't yet decided on a substitute for hot summer days. Maybe just water. Despite the heat, Janavi enjoyed her hot cocoa.
I decided to get a little crazy and try something new. I ordered a cup of Organic Acai Juice. (I don't know how to type in the special c on my computer.) Advertised as, "a superfood from the amazon" I was nervous yet excited. I was truly listening to Lou Reed's advice and taking a walk on the wild side. The taste was like no other I had before, so it is hard to describe, but it gets 3 thumbs up from me. After just one sip I felt reinvigorated. My blood was pumping, and my senses were sharpened. I could feel oxygen entering and leaving my muscles. Very similar to the effects of cocaine but from a healthier source.
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| Organic Acai Juice from the amazons of Columbia |
Just a few seconds ago, I called Janavi, "fucking insane" for ordering hot chocolate on a boiling summer's day, but I too was feeling some type of way.
Scanning the menu, I was in the mood for an omelet. I usually go with a meat lovers omelet, but I had already ordered my Organic Acai Juice, so I wanted to shake it up even more. My eyes fell upon The Ghost Pepper Omelet. Now according to
pepperhead.com the Ghost Pepper is currently ranked the 7th hottest pepper in the world. I was unaware of this fact at the time of this breakfast.
All I will say is thank god for my Organic Acai Juice, because had it not been there, I would have had a heat stroke. This Omelet was, for lack of better words, super fucking hot. However, mixed with chili, this omelet wasn't just their for show, to brag about how hot it was; It also had taste to it. After getting used to the extreme heat, I thoroughly enjoyed every bite of it. I was also baffled how they figure out how to solidify the chili enough, to get it to neatly stay in the omelet. I guess it was just the magic of the ghost pepper. After finishing, I felt a need for more heat. There was a fiery passion, scorching deep with in my soul to find more sizzling hot peppers to stick in my mouth. After breakfast I decided this wasn't just a phase I would out grow. I hopped in my Toyota Highlander and set out for my first Jalepeno eating contest at Seabrook Beach. Having never eaten straight up Jalepeno's before, I did not fair well, but it's the effort that counts. The ghost pepper omelet got me addicted to the heat, and it's an addiction I don't wanna beat. (It was also delicious and I highly recommend it.)
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| Me, unaware my life was about to be changed by The Ghost Pepper Omelet |
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| Me, holding up my participation ribbon and second place trophy in The Annual Seabrook Beach Jalepeno Eating Contest |
RadHa ordered a vegetarian omelet. When I asked her how it was I could not help but notice the pain and sorrow in RadHa's eyes as she was about to speak. I could tell that deep down inside, she no longer wanted to be a vegetarian. She longed for meat. I felt selfish in not offering her some of mine, but I think in the end, it would have been too hot anyways. Quietly she said , "It's pretty good."
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| RadHa's breakfast. A veggie omelet, coffee, hash browns, and toast. |
Janavi ordered m&m pancakes, which at first I was skeptical of because why not just skip the hard m&m shell and just got with the classic chocolate chip pancakes? But she insisted that these were better. She allowed me to have a bite, and I was pleasantly surprised. I will not venture off to say they are better than the classic chocolate chip, but I will say they are on the same tier. Janavi's breakfast didn't seem to have much nutritional value to it. A lot of chocolate and batter, and that was about it. Hat's off to her for getting outside the box on both aspects of her breakfast though.
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| Janavi showcasing her breakfast along with her tongue. |
The Shawsheen Luncheonette was very good food wise. Service wise as well. The atmosphere was ehh in my book, but go see for yourself, as everyone has different tastes for what environment they enjoy eating in. One aspect of this diner that stuck out to me was the bill. For me, this diner was a little pricey. Not insane, but definitely a little pricier than average. My drink alone was $3.50. Now, was the food worth the money paid? I'll give a hard maybe. So if you're planning on going out to eat a day in advance, this is a great spot to sit down and have a bite. If you're looking for a cheap breakfast to stop in on short notice, you may want to look elsewhere. With all of this being said, The Shawsheen Luncheonette still has my blessing as a good diner.
The Shawsheen Luncheonette: Good Diner (I need to come up with a more specific way to give my final rating. If you have any ideas please let me know.)
